Winchester Story
by Aoi Natsu
Summary: Near is a Shiro Lolita and a loner, until he meets Mello, a Yanki who insists they are friends. Mello is trying his best to win Matt's heart, and he wants Near to help. Yaoi! MattxMello, LightxL
1. Embroidery

A/N: This is a parody of Shimostuma Monogatari, or Kamikaze Girls/Shimotsuma Story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, or Shimotsuma Monogatari

Characters:

Near: Momoko Ryugasaki

Mello: Ichigo Shirayuki

Matsuda: Father/Idiot

Matt: Unicorn Ryuji

Watari: Grandmother (not a gender switch)

Light Yagami: Sir Isobe (bbtssb designer)

L: Light's lover

Misa: Akimi

Winchester Monogatari

Near River strolled down the barren countryside of Winchester, England, being careful not to get cow dung on his white rocking horse shoes. He wore a white Baby the Stars Shine Bright jumper skirt with eyelet lace lining the seams and ruffles on the bottom. Underneath he wore a white blouse with a peter-pan collar lined with matching lace, his princess sleeves flaring out, widely swaying as he walked. His curly white hair was topped with an over sized Alice bow, which, of course, was white.

Near was a Shiro Lolita, meaning he only wore white. The cute little lamb was a Rococophile, longing for simpler days of Marie Antoinette and Versailles.

_Wake up at noon, get make-up and hair done, get dressed in extravagant gowns, eat extravagant breakfast, play with toys, promenade in the countryside, retire for extravagant dinner, play with toys again, and then "do the nasty." Or just play with toys._

That was the life he wanted. Minus the sex. Who needs lovers when you have lolita?

_I would rather be a bug, they are far more independent than humans._

The misanthrope finally arrived at his grandfather's cottage, located in the middle of nowhere. _Not that I care, people are useless anyway._He only engaged in social activities when buying new clothes or when it was absolutely necessary.

"Welcome home, Near!" Watari greeted. He was sitting on the front steps, typing something really long a laptop. Near could hear the keys clacking even as he was inside. After slipping his (hopefully) dung-free shoes off and placing them in their cubby, he walk into the living room to find his father sprawled on the floor.

_What's Idiot doing now?_

Matsuda looked up from his spot on the floor. "Hi Nate!", he said enthusiastically. _That's _not _my name!,_ he thought as he approached the Idiot.

"What are you doing?" Matsuda held up a tee-shirt that had the logos from Angel Crepe and Versace on it and smiled. "Isn't great? Double-branding is whats hot right now! By the way, can I borrow some embroidery thread? I used up all of your's that I could find." Near screamed mentally but kept his poker face. "I don't have any," he retreated to his room, leaving a very disappointed Matsuda. "I guess I'm going to Jusco!"

The Idiot was a Mafia member who specialized in making bootleg Versace apparel. The clothes he made were hideous, but anyone who was looking for a bargain snatched them right up. Apparently everyone in Winchester was looking for a bargain. A sale at Jusco? There's a freaking stampede. They looking for any chance to get $15 shirts on sale for 10% off. They were cheapskates who can't comprehend the idea of nice quality. Needless to say, the lamb didn't get along with them. Then again, he didn't get along with anybody.

After brushing his teeth, washing his hair, and reading by candle light, Near went to bed. Tomorrow was the first day of high school. He dreamed about what it would be like if the Decepticons came in 1780.

A/N Mello comes in the next chapter! Please review!


	2. Transformers vs Mello

A/N: This chapter is much longer than the first! I had fun modeling Near's room after my brother living space :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, Shimotsuma Monogatari, or any of the toys mentioned here.

Chapter Two: Transformers vs. Mello

Watari woke up very early that morning. Today was the first day of school, and he was the principal of Wammy High School. With his white hair slicked back, his mustache perfectly groomed, and his suit pressed and wrinkle-free, he certainly was intimidating to anyone of a lower class. He crept into Near's room in order to wake him. The alarm clock said it was 5:30 am. Watari wondered if it was too early, because despite his grandson's obsession, he wore a simple uniform to school and didn't bother with his hair.

The elderly man took in the sight of Near cuddling Optimus Prime underneath the white blankets. He was wearing a sleeping cap and mask, and Watari was fairly certain he was wearing his comfy pajamas, all the same color. White.

Everything Near wore was white. His sheets were white, his walls and carpet were white. The furniture in his bedroom was white as well. If you were to walk into the bedroom with no warning, you would think you had fallen into a somnolent, infinite universe that has no genesis and provides no matrix... That's what Near thought, anyway.

The only things he owned that were not white were his toys. Boxes of Legos lined the walls, and there was a bucket full of Bionicle parts that had been mismatched to create new playthings. Instruction manuals deluged the ivory desk. A wooden train track that ran in a circle was in the center of the floor. There were also several other robots on the windowsill, each one a different color and with various lights making patterns and sounds when you turned them on. Hotwheels were scattered here and there, and some parts of the tracks had been rearranged, but then pushed to the corner to make way for a mini Rococo-style castle made of dice. A half-finished Versailles puzzle was on a table opposite the desk, the other pieces neatly placed in the box. On one of the chairs sat a ball-jointed Volks doll dressed in Shiro lolita like the lamb, her pretty red hair in ringlets that draped gracefully on her shoulders and framed her pale face. In the other chair sat an actual lamb, overstuffed and with realistic wool curling around its body, stopping abruptly at its stubby legs. Slivers of construction paper left over from a princess finger puppet were on the carpet. _He needs to clean up when he gets home from school,_ Wammy thought as he left the room, deciding to give the lolita fifteen more minutes. He was careful not to trip on Bumblebee on the way out.

When Near did wake up, he did so reluctantly. He was very tired since he stayed up late reading _Jane Eyre._After changing into his uniform (it was male), he tucked a purple robot into his school bag. You know, just in case anybody was to transform into deadly robot. **(1)**His stomach was making noises, and he decided it was time for breakfast.

The Idiot poured him a bowl of cereal but forgot to give him a spoon. _Really, should I be surprised? _As the albino was heading toward the silverware drawer, Watari stopped him.

"If you clean your room after school I'll take you to Southampton on the weekend to see L." Near knew he needed to clean his room, but why was his grandfather bribing him?

"L lives in Southampton now?" he asked, a hint of interest to his monotone voice.

"Yes, he moved in with his boyfriend. A very handsome fellow. They've known each other for a while now, but Light work offices were moved to the south so…" he trailed off here. "Their relationship is advancing." He smiled. It was obvious he supported the panda.

"What about L's work?"

"Oh he still works on cases; you should know he'd never stop. I still help him, but he's more independent now."

Near began twirling a lock of his hair, contemplating whether he should agree to this or not. L was one of the few people he cared about, or rather, simply enjoyed his company. _I don't like cities, but maybe there is a good lolita or toy store I can visit, but I'll need more money. I'm sure I can trick Idiot into giving me some._

"Very well, its a deal." He grabbed a spoon from the drawer and sat down at the table opposite Matsuda. The man was smiling like the jackass he was. Near wished Bumblebee would get off his floor and squash his father, and then take him on an adventure like he did with Shia LaBeouf. Lucky bastard.

"Excited for school?" the puppy asked. Near didn't answer, he just got up, gathered his things, and followed Watari to the car.

--- --- --- --- --- At Wammy High School --- --- --- --- ---

Near waited nervously outside his first class, which was math. Other students were next to him, talking to their friends and occasionally making immature innuendo jokes. _How annoying_. Just then, the door swung open and a tall, thin man with brown hair and a receding hair line greeted them.

"Hello! I'm Mr. Brown. Please seat yourself alphabetically according to your middle name!" _Oh God, this will be a disaster. _

He took a seat in the first row. Just then, a mean-looking islander girl with caramel highlights in her messy black hair leaned over his desk, just inches away from his face.

"What your name start with?" She said in a demanding voice.

"A." _That's a lie, I just don't want to deal with this._

"Mmkay" she said sharply, and turned around to continue barking orders at her classmates. Near heard her arguing with a boy.

"OKAY!" she screamed, "Why don't YOU just sit down next to that sheep boy and get outta my FACE!"

"FINE, BITCH!" _Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, where are you Bumblebee? Optimus?_

"Language, please." Mr. Brown interrupted, but everyone seemed to ignore him.

Just then, the blond boy stomped over to the desk next to Near and sat down. His pissed-off expression quickly diminished as he introduced himself.

"Hey sheep-boy, I'm Mello." _Don't engage him._"Hey you little fuck! I'm talking to you!"

"You may call me Near." Mello grunted in frustration.

"Lemme see your classes." Near decided it would be best to just hand over the paper.

"Damn, we have five out of six classes together. You've got health and I have art. We should sit together! I don't really know anybody here, and it gets awkward and-"

"I'm not looking for any friends." Mello scowled at him.

"Whatever."

--- --- --- --- --- After School --- --- --- --- ---

Mello really did sit with the lamb in every class they had together, even at lunch. He talked excitedly to the silent boy about a bike he owned, which he called his "life." He didn't seem to care when Near remained quiet or just nodded in response.

When Near finally arrived at the country side home after a long walk from the school, he changed out of his uniform. He put on a white onepiece with short puff sleeves and bows lining the bodice. After sliding on some white knee-high socks and placing the delicate sock toppers on his knees he began to clean his room.

He was certain this was going to be a terrible school, of not the worst in history.

A/N: Wow much longer! More Mello action in the next chapter. Please review!

**(1) This is a reference to the Death Note fanfic "It's a Wonderful Life"**


	3. Questions

A/N: This chapter was written when I was listening to Kokusyoku Sumire, if you haven't heard them, you are missing out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Shimotsuma Monogatari

Chapter Three: Questions

"Near, why are you wearing a dress?" Mello asked Wednesday afternoon.

"Why are you at my house?" They were sitting on the front steps. Near was embroidering a rose into a handkerchief, wearing a white jumperskirt with buttons running down the center and a scalloped skirt (He opted not to wear a blouse in the heat.) Mello followed him home that day to work on their homework together, but instead was lying next to him, munching on a chocolate bar while talking about how much he hated their science teacher.

Mello scoffed. "Well that's obvious, _dumbass_, because we're _friends_!" Near pushed the needle through the cream-colored fabric, finishing another red petal, and didn't even bother telling his "friend" that he thought relationships were the most useless thing since people themselves. "And don't deflect; you're wearing a frilly-ass _dress_." Near looked up from his needlework and decided to explain.

"When babies are born," he paused, "they are pure. They are not influenced by anyone else and live as they please. The first time they laugh, they are making a promise to themselves. They're saying, 'I'm not going to follow rules, and I'm not going to listen to anyone bossing me around.' A lot of people forget this promise. I didn't." Mello looked interested, and was surprised, as he had never heard the lamb say this much in one go.

"Okay, but why lolita?"

"Lolita is a world of elegance and wonder, where one can be without responsibility. It's like living in a time long ago, with simple concepts beautiful ideals. My ideal is the life of a Rococo maiden who dines on cake, walks in the country, goes to operas and throws balls every night and dances with a prince, or a count, or a knight!" Near spoke these words dreamily, forgetting the blond's presence for a moment, picturing how lovely it would be to dance with a knight.

"Does this mean you are gay?" Mello asked suddenly. There was an awkward pause, and the only sound was another piece of chocolate being bitten off.

"No." He pushed the needle through again, resuming his work. "I am asexual."

"You don't like either? What's wrong with you? God, you're so weird_._" Near accidentally let his brow furrow for a moment."But whatever floats your boat, I guess." Mello sat up and pulled his schoolbag towards him and began taking out his homework and pencil case, but stopped and was quiet for a minute. He looked at the lamb next to him, who was bent over his embroidery, pulling the thread through with experienced speed. Mello didn't know _why_ he wanted them to be friends, but Near was just so _different_ from every other asshole he'd met in his life. Except Matt, of course.

"You know, I'm gay." Near gave him an apathetic stare, he wasn't really surprised, because Mello looked kind of like a girl, but then again, so did he.

"Do you have a boyfriend? You should hang out with him instead."

"No, but I really like this guy." Mello smiled. "His name is Matt. He's got red hair that's a little long, but he's still masculine, you know? And he's always wearing these goggles," he laughed quietly, "these **orange** goggles that hide his eyes. But his eyes are so pretty, right? They're green, you can tell if you look close enough." The blond smiled, remembering Matt's eyes, his hair. Near continued to stare, wondering why he was dubbed the "weird" one.

"Why are you here when you could be with this 'Matt' right now?" He hoped the short-tempered boy would catch on to the fact that he didn't want him here.

"We go to different schools now. But he's in my bike gang." Near sighed ever-so-slightly. He knew Mello was in a bike gang, but it really was pathetic. According to what Mello had told him over the past two days, the gang only had nine members, yet it was the largest and "toughest" in the area. They each rode customized bikes. Except for Mello.

"How can you be in a bike gang if you ride a scooter?" Near asked the question with the pure intention of pissing Mello off.

And he did.

Mello stood up abruptly, grabbing his bag, and for a second the albino thought he was leaving. Just then, Mello gripped the strap and swung at Near like a gunslinger. The blow hit his face and he was thrown backward, his embroidery hoop was sent flying through the air in an unknown direction. As Near fell on his back, he saw a blond blur heading toward him. Mello grabbed his collar and screamed in his face.

"You bitch! How dare you insult my LIFE! How would you like me to end yours?!"

"Why not?"

Mello was taken aback. He let go of Near and sat next to him. The lolita was in a daze, his face hurt, he was scared, and he just wanted to escape to Versailles right now.

"You should get an icepack." Mello said and stood up, offering his hand to Near, who took and pulled himself up. He started walking toward the kitchen, and realized Mello was following him. The Idiot was nowhere to be seen, and, not surprisingly, there were no icepacks. He grabbed a frozen tube-o-beef and wrapped it in a plaid towel. Mello was sitting on the floor, watching their TV. Near joined him, pressing the tube-o-beef against his aching forehead and folding his knees under himself. The program on TV had a blond man who seemed to be fighting off zombies with a paddle. They watched it for a while, sitting in silence. Mello laughed occasionally, since the movie appeared to be a comedy.

An hour later, Mello decided it was time to head home. He grabbed his schoolbag/weapon and jumped over the steps. Near followed him out, watching as he mounted his scooter and started it.

Mello's scooter was a 1986 Honda Lead 50 ccwith a red paint job. It had a three-tier seat which rose very high on the last tier. The engine was extremely loud and it looked as though the vehicle couldn't go any faster than thirty miles per hour.

"See you at school." He said before speeding off. Near watched him drive away, and continued to stand outside even when Mello was too far away to see.

A/N: L comes next chapter! Reviews please! Also, did you catch my 'Shaun of the Dead' reference?


	4. Near's POV I: The Panda Man

A/N: L is here! For the fellow fangirls! I made use of my British slang vocab :3

Near's POV I: The Panda Man

Dear Rococo Gods,

What did I do wrong? Did I betray you? Is it because I watched the telly with a boy who betrays my values and wears leather from head to toe? Have I been neglecting my Lolita duties? Why are you punishing me so? Why are you allowing me to attend a pep assembly? Where are you when I need you?

Your Devoted Lolita,

Near

The Rococo Gods have yet to answer my questions. Perhaps they are saving another fair maiden who is forced to arse about in an unwanted friendship, has an idiot father, and is being sucked into the damned hell that is school spirit days. Go team.

Mello met me before class that day wearing red and black war paint, just like everyone else. He insisted that I wear some, too, and after a minute of vain arguing, he smeared the paint across my face. I squirmed under his touch and he glared at me.

"Is it because I'm gay?" For the past two days Mello liked to say this whenever I ignored him or was the least bit defiant. Usually I just shrugged it off, but I was in a bad mood today.

"You think I'm the kind of person who would have a problem with that?"

"Heh, I guess not. But am I the first one you've met?"

"No. I have a friend I've known my whole life who is homosexual." That would be L. _L._I was going to visit him tomorrow, and as much as it bothers me to admit it, I was excited. My thoughts were interrupted by the familiar sound of Tyler Freeman storming the hallways. He was my least favorite human.

"Backs to the wall, gents! It's Mello Keehl!" He squeezed Mello's non-existent love handles and ran away, laughing hysterically. No one knew that Mello was officially gay, but some people made this assumption based on his rather feminine haircut.

"Twit," Mello muttered, taking a bite of chocolate, and we walked into class as the bell rang, pretending to ignore Mr. Brown's greetings.

"Good morning! Sit in your assigned seat and wait for announcements." Thankfully we heard Wammy's voice on the intercom dismiss the freshman to the gym right away. Everyone walked in a rather unorganized fashion across the long courtyard, Mello was next to me, and on the other side was a very annoying overweight brunette who talked far too loud. When we finally took our seats, we sat in silence while everyone around us interacted with each other. As the other students filled the bleachers, Mello pulled out another milk chocolate candy bar. I was beginning to wonder where he got all this chocolate from. Did he have magical powers, the kind that let you pull things out of thin air? I seriously considered this for a moment.

The assembly was worse than I thought. It started with the obnoxious sport team members introducing themselves in a very cocky way that made me want to scream. I chose the ladylike alternative and just sat there, one of my knees pulled close to me, and lost myself in my thoughts. When they were finished, an annoying man in a wheelchair with no limbs gave a lecture about being handicapped and using drugs and accidentally losing your arms and legs while you were "tripping balls," as he liked to say. Watari was standing to the side with some teachers, and when the man addressed him, trying to be funny, Wammy genuinely hadn't heard him, causing some people to laugh at the cripple's stupidity. I even smiled.

When the draining and pathetic display of "spirit" was over, Watari dismissed us to our third-period class. Of all the places I loathed, science class was certainly at the top of the list. Our teacher's name was Ms. Cole. She was very tall and liked to wear tacky, unflattering clothing. She also had hair that she kept at shoulder length and liked to leave as it was when she woke up. I was very disappointed; she would make a nice model if she cared about how she looked. Ms. Cole was also very irritating. The students were allowed to run the class her pathetic attempts at discipline were very entertaining. I liked to watch her go insane, and today she snapped.

"If you guys don't quiet down, you'll be in deep shit with the principal!" She was obviously thinking she was cool because of the swearing. Everyone tried to suppress their chuckles as she was trying to look serious.

"Language please!" Mello blurted about, and all the "bad" kids laughed.

"Why don't you go to the office, Mihael Keehl?" Using his real name. Bad mistake.

"Why don't you go FUCK yourself with your dildoes?!" He retorted. The "good" kids gasped.

"That is IT! I am calling Mr. Wammy. Let's see how cool you are when you get detention?"

"I'm not the only one who hates you, you know! Right Near?" Why must we drag me into this?

"Near? What does he have to do with this?" Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"He said you're a dumbass bitch who sucks dick for cash on the weekends!" I said that? When did I say that? I had no chance to proclaim my innocence, because we were given green papers (which said what we did) and being escorted to my grandfather's office by a very pissed off teacher.

--- --- --- --- --- Watari's Office --- --- --- --- ---

"Now Nate," Oh no, the _real_ name, " I am quite certain you are innocent. Mihael, why did you falsely accuse him?"

Mello bit off another piece of magic chocolate. "We're friends. If I'm going to get in trouble he should come, too." What a compelling argument. Mello looked as though he was a little ashamed, but I quickly dismissed this as part of his act.

"You two are friends?" Wammy looked hopeful. My whole life I have avoided people and relationships, and it was understandable that he would be happy to make such a discovery.

"Yep." Silence. My grandfather looked as though he were thinking quite hard.

"Near," he said gently, "how would you like Mihael to join us this weekend?" I tried to speak, but my voice came out in a inaudible whisper.

"It's okay, I won't some if you don't want me to." I didn't want him to. I wanted L to myself. But wouldn't be proud of me for making a friend? And they were both gay, so they might get along...

"You can come with us." I wondered when I would start regretting this decision.

--- --- --- --- --- Saturday, 8:45 am --- --- --- --- ---

I stared at my open closet. What could I wear? I had to please the gods since I invited Mello to come along.

These were my choices: Baby the Stars Shine Bright baby-doll jumperskirt and Btssb pin tucked blouse with crown lace, Btssb Ribbon Ribbon Gelato sun dress, Alice and the Pirates Gathers Frill Jumperskirt, Angelic Pretty Princess of Dreams Dress (it had some pink on it, I don't ALWAYS wear all white), Angelic Pretty Rose Princess Doll Dress, Metamorphose Crown Bouquet Short-sleeved Dress, and a Metamorphose Temps de Fille Navy Blue Sailor dress. I considered the sailor dress because Southampton is a port town, and I thought it would be fitting.

We weren't leaving until 9:30, so I had time to eat breakfast. I already showered and my white hair was in rollers. I glanced at the clock. It was 8:48, time to take them out. I walked over to my mirror and carefully removed each one, running a brush through the tight curls in order to relax them. When I finished, I took a step back and examined the result. My hair was curled toward my face very neatly. I put a white headdress on and tied the ribbon under my chin. Mana-Sama would be proud.

Mana-Sama is my hero. He is the most inspirational and creative person I have ever known. (L doesn't count, he's not a fashion icon). He is an Elegant Gothic Lolita. No one knows his real name or age, and he does not speak. Instead, he whispers in someone's ear and they repeat the words. He was the lead guitarist of Malice Mizer, and is an important figure in the Visual Kei scene. Mana-Sama has his own clothing line, Moi meme Moitie. In 2002, he started his solo music project called Moi Dix Mois. I prefer this music to his earlier work; it is much more elegant. Although Mana-Sama is straight, he dresses up as a maiden just as I do.

I decided to wear my ivory Btssb Ribbon Ribbon Gelato sun dress. It was very beautiful, yet it was a halter top, so I put on a long sleeve blouse that had very delicate lace. Mello came over at 9:12. He was wearing a red jacket that was unzipped, revealing a black low-cut vest underneath. His pants were very dark and very tight, and he was wearing a rosary around his neck.

The Idiot was working on his bootleg merchandise when Mello walked in.

"Wow! Angel Crepe _and_ Versace? So cool!" We left at 9:20, (they had spent the eight minute talking about the disgusting clothing), and made the journey south to where L resided.

--- --- --- --- --- L and Light's Apartment --- --- --- --- ---

After about ten miles, I saw the ocean in the distance. Mello had stayed quiet through most of the drive, but when he spotted the deep turquoise sea, he got excited.

"Wow! It's so pretty! I haven't seen the ocean since I was little!" He tugged on my blouse. "See, Near?" I just nodded.

We made a turn away from the sea and traveled down roads that were packed with apartments, all shaped the same, but with different colors and windows. We made another turn, and the apartments became much nicer, with fancier cars parked outside. Watari parked right behind a shiny red BMW and turned off the engine.

L's flat was made of red brick, with white bricks lining the big windows. The wide front door was made of white wood, with a crescent-shaped window at the top, and tall, thin windows on either side. A small rose garden was in the front yard, and it was filled with peach-colored roses. Gorgeous.

"Whoa." Mello said after surveying his surroundings. We walked up to the door and Wammy knocked. I heard what sounded like footsteps and my heart started beating faster. What would L think of Mello? I started getting nervous; he was taking too long to answer the door! Just when I thought I was going to die, the lock clicked. And we were greeted by- a man who was not L.

He had neatly groomed brown hair, caramel-colored eyes, and lightly bronzed skin. He was wearing a white dress shirt and gray slacks. He was very handsome.

"Oh, hello." He paused, looking at Mello, and then at me. "Um," he stuttered, and then he must have remembered the man he was dating, because he smiled. "My name is Light Yagami. You must be Near, but I'm afraid I don't know your name." Light looked at the blond mess of leather next to me.

"I'm Mello. Near and I are friends."

"Hello, nice to meet you. Please, come in." He opened the door wider. "You can put your shoes there," he motioned to a rack that had several dress shoes, a pair of tan tennis shoes, and a ratty pair of old white sneakers. Those were obviously L's. I took off my mary-janes and Mello took off his black slip-ons, and we placed them next to each other on the rack and followed Light into the main room. As soon as we walked in, I saw a familiar mess on black hair crouching on a chair. He looked like he was sleeping.

Light sighed. "Ryuzaki, wake up, they're here." He put his hands on L's shoulders, and his head shot up. L smiled and stood up, walking over to Wammy and giving him a hug. I was next, and I could smell the sugar on L's breath.

"Who's this? Are you Near's friend?" He inspected Mello, bringing his thumb up to his mouth. Just when I thought he disapproved, he smiled.

"My name is Ryuzaki. Would you like some cake?"

"Uh, my name is Mello. I guess so, yeah." L looked over at Light expectantly.

"Can't you do anything yourself?" L gave him an apathetic stare. Light just laughed and headed toward the kitchen.

A/N: Yay longer! Next chapter is Mello's POV. All the dresses mentioned actually do exist and sadly i don't own any of them :(


	5. Mello's POV I: Cabbage

A/N: Sorry for not going along the story of Kamikaze Girls, but I promise this chapter will have more of Novala Takemoto goodness!

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note or Shimotsuma Monogatari/Kamikaze Girls

Mello's POV I: Cabbage

Ryuuzaki was really weird. I wasn't really surprised that Near knew this guy, in fact I was expecting him to be a freak. What bothered me was this Yagami guy. Why did he choose him? Okay, I admit that the panda was sort of cute in his own freakish way, and he was wearing baggy clothes, so maybe he was hiding a spectacular body. But Light was so hot! He wasn't really my type (red heads with goggles), but he was really beautiful. I was a guest at their house, so I deserved some answers.

"So... How'd you guys meet each other?" I asked bravely. I wasn't one to go around asking people about their personal life, but this was too intriguing.

It was Light who spoke. "We met two years ago when L was on an assignment in Japan."

"Japan?"

"Yes, my home country..."

Okay, let me tell the story my way:

Light Yagami is some sort of fashion designer, or at least he works in fashion. Ryuuzaki works on cases. I don't know what the hell that means, but apparently it's supposed to be a secret. Yagami and his rich fashionista friends were having a charity benefit to raise money for orphanages, and 10% was going to the place Ryuuzaki was from. There was fancy food, pretty people, a big-ass orchestra playing Beethoven and shit like that, you know, totally romantic atmosphere. Light first approached Ryuuzaki and told him to stop eating all the cake, telling him about how he was gonna get fat and die. He just ignored him Marie Antoinette style and kept eating cake. And this is the conversation that resulted:

"How much cake did you have?"

(mouth full) "Four slices so far, but the raspberry marble cheesecake looks good, I think I'll try that next."

(Light takes cake away in a bitchy display of perfectionism) "No you will not! Judging by your figure, you must not eat sweets very often; you shouldn't ruin good habits."

"You are incorrect."

"What?"

"I eat sweets all the time. In fact, I only eat sweets."

"Why?"

"It is very conducive to brain activity, as is my sitting position."

"Huh?"

"I always make sure to sit with my knees drawn close to me. I think I'm 40% better like this."

"40% better? And how, pray tell, do you figure that?"

"Is this an interrogation?"

"No. This is a conversation."

"Very well, my turn. What's your name?"

"Yagami Light. Light is written with the characters for moon and Yagami is written with the characters for night and god. And besides, you didn't answer my question."

"I am Ryuuzaki. What do you do?"

"You can't just ignore me! Just- agh whatever. I work in the fashion industry as an intern but I aspire to be designer one day."

"Oh."

"What do you do?"

"That, Yagami-kun, is a secret."

(long pause, Ryuuzaki reaches for more cake, but is stopped by the bitch) "No."

"No?"

"You are eating real food with me tonight at dinner."

"Is that what you would call a date?"

"In a way. So, are you coming?"

"I did not think Yagami-kun was one to ask permission. But to answer your question, no. I do not wish to eat such food."

"Not one to ask permission? What does that mean? And call me Light, please."

"I think you are very bossy, Light."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. So if you're not eating human food, how about I take you to the cafe across next to the boutique?"

"I don't know, let me think over the matter."

"You're not really passing up free cake, are you?"

"Fine, I will join you tomorrow for lunch."

(FIN)

--- --- --- --- --- After School on Monday --- --- --- --- ---

Although Near was nice to me on the weekend, he went back to his old self on Monday. He refused to hang out at my house, so I followed him to some fancy tea house. I ordered hot cocoa, and he got green tea with milk. We just sat there, Near ignoring me as I was trying to figure out what the hell kind of music was flowing quietly from his headphones. I wanted his attention, who was he to ignore me? So I took out the pack of cigarettes I was holding for Matt when he suddenly had to rush off somewhere and left them in my possession. I put a one of the fags in my nostril, it _smelled_ like Matt (schoolgirl crush moment), and attempted to light it, before a white hand stopped me.

"Stop that, it's disgusting." He finally looked up from one of those lolita bibles and took out one head phone.

"What the fuck are you listening to?" He paused the music and glared at me.

"Antonio Vivaldi."

"Oh, never heard of that band." The little sheep glared at me again! What the fuck? "You heard Ozaki Yutaka?"

"No, I don't believe I have." Now that just pissed me off. I lunged at him, grabbing that stupid frilly-ass collar.

"You're fucking _ignorant_, you know that! Who doesn't know Ozaki?"

"I believe you are the ignorant one. You mistook Antonio Vivaldi for a band, when he is in fact a classical composer." This made me even madder.

"Like I give a flying fuck!" Just then the manager escorted us out into the market, slamming the door behind us.

"What the hell, Near, we're supposed to be friends. I'm sorry for getting in your face." He glared at me _again._

"We are not friends." He left me, heading towards one of the booths and bought something. He skipped over to me and handed me a head of cabbage.

"Here. If you want a friend, take this. I think it is perfectly suitable." I slapped away his outstretched hand and stomped over to my bike.

"Whatever, Near. You can't be an antisocial bastard forever." I sped off. I needed to give Matt his cigarettes back.

A/N: More Matsuda next chapter.


	6. Near's POV II: Ludicrous Encounter

Disclaimer: don't own Death Note or Shimotsuma Monogatari/Kamikaze Girls

Near's POV II: Ludicrous Encounter

Dear readers, you must be wondering why I refer to my father, Matsuda, as the Idiot. So let me explain.

My father is from Japan. Growing up, he was a yanki, and when he got older, he joined the yakuza. Tough men who beat traitors and rule the criminals. My father is not one of those men.

_Nighttime, the yakuza storm an apartment full of drug dealers. Matsuda and Aizawa run down the street, chasing the fleeing men. Matsuda trips, letting the others go ahead. Gunshots are heard, and hesitantly, he pulls out his gun, the dark metal glistening in the moonlight._

_"I can't do it!" He scurries away, tripping on his feet._

He was absolutely useless. This is how he acted on every mission he went on. And they always ended the same.

_Matsuda slumps down next to a dumpster in an alley behind a strip club, and begins to cry. His cries turn into hysterical sobs, and then into inaudible screams. A door next to him opens, and a stripper steps out into the alley. She gags, and then spews projectile vomit. When she's finally finished, she turns to see the pathetic gangster stifling his sobs. They make eye contact, letting their gaze run up and down each other's bodies, stopping at their private bits. Matsuda lunges at her, stopping abruptly before she pulls him into a passionate kiss, with extra tongue._

And that is how I was conceived.

The Idiot put family first, stealing money from the yakuza to buy diapers and formula, but he was eventually caught.

_A crowd gathers around Matsuda, pinning him down and holding a knife to his pinkie._

_"You think we're stupid? Stealing money? Now you gotta pay!"_

_"No!" Matsuda screams, "I need my pinkie... to play piano!"_

The Idiot does not know how to play piano.

When I was five, my mother left us for the gynecologist who delivered me.

_"Nate, come with me, your new father is very kind and smart. You will be happier with me."_

_"No, I'm staying with dad. It's more fun."_

_"WHY? You're new grandparents are literally dying to meet you! They're in the hospital, dying!"_

_"Is that true?"_

_"No, but..." She said this very bluntly_

_"How old are you?"_

_"26."_

_"You're still young, go with this man, get plastic surgery, and enter beauty pageants, don't give up on happiness." I got up and left the building, my mother chasing after me._

_"NATE!!!" She stopped following me. I was busy imagining that I could fly._

--- --- --- --- --- Tuesday Morning --- --- --- --- ---

I walked to the hallway where Mello and I usually met, only to find he wasn't there.

"He's in the bathroom." Linda smiled at me. I swear she can read minds.

Upon entering, I saw Mello peering into the blurry mirror, arranging his silky blond locks into place. He turned to look at me. He must still be mad at the cabbage incident.

"Why are you here? I thought we weren't friends."

"You have my math notebook." Mello visibly sweat dropped, like an anime character.

"You bitch! Stop messing around! I know you're here to apologize so just do it so we can be friends!"

"I'm not apologizing, I want my notebook." Mello gave me a death glare. The bell was ringing.

"What do I have to do to make you want to be friends with me?" Oh, this I could use to my advantage.

"Fine, we're friends, but you owe me."

We walked to class together, slipping inside and taking our seats in the extremely inconvenient chairs (you had to step over a metal bar to sit down if you had the bad side).

"Hello, class!" Mr. Brown's voice chimed. "We have a new student! His name is Beyond." At the front of the room was a boy who looked suspiciously like L. He had the same messy black hair and pale skin, except his eyes were a creepy ruby red. His nose was smaller and more feminine than L's, and his eyes were more almond-shaped. He was staring right at me. "Okay, you can take the seat next to Near."

He shuffled down the middle isle and took the seat next to mine; crouching like L (he was lucky, he didn't have to climb over the stupid bar). Mr. Brown told us to work together on the morning problems.

"Hey..... Near." He said my name so slow, it freaked me out.

"Yes?"

"I got 18x+12y for number one."

"Um, yes, I got that, too." More staring, I felt like he was peering into me, checking out every nook and cranny.

"What's your schedule?"

"Oh, Brown, Lewis, Cole, Peck, Gordon, and Abbott."

"I have Brown, Hill, Cole, Peck, Peck again for art, and Abbott. Looks like we have three classes together." Gulp. I had to spend three hours with him. "Do you have second or third lunch?"

"Third."

"Oh! We should sit together." Oh dear God, _four_ hours.

Mr. Brown interrupted my thoughts. "Okay, class, as you know, tomorrow is Fair Day! As of student of WHS, you all have to attend to a booth. Now, Beyond, this is short notice, so you don't have to, but the rest of you better do spectacular jobs!" he held out a piece of paper. "Okay, I took into account the lists you guys sent me saying who you want to work with, and I have assigned you all to different booths. Alright, Ai and Natsu, you'll be at cotton candy. Edmond, James, you're ring toss. Mello, Near," he paused to smile like the Cheshire Cat, "you'll be at the kissing booth!!!"

"Oh my Jesus Christ monkey balls," someone muttered. I assumed it was either Ai or Natsu, the dynamic duo of all things yaoi.

"Oh fuck no." Mello, obviously.

"Students, watch your mouths." He continued to list all the pairs and where they would be. I was in a daze. How was this possible, to have so many terrible things happen to you over the course of two weeks. No, the gods must be testing me. And now I knew exactly how Mello was going to win my friendship.

--- --- --- --- --- Lunch --- --- --- --- ---

Mello and I scurried over to our usual spot on the left side of the commons. The other people we usually sat with were there, just a group of normal people. But today the yaoi girls and Beyond joined us.

"Hey Nearly-Near, Mello-Yellow." For some reason the short blonde couldn't talk normally.

"Are you guys excited to get kissed by strangers?" A tall brunette asked sarcastically, with a matter-of-fact undertone.

"I can't believe Mr. Brown did that to us! You know, he's probably some pedophile," said Mello.

"Oh my God, I knooow." They said this at the same time, elongating their vowels as usual. "Well, good luck." They walked over to their own table with the anime and orchestra nerds.

"Who were they?" Beyond asked suddenly.

"Oh, I have art class with them. You'll meet them in fifth period, they're pretty cool, I guess." Mello and Beyond already exchanged schedules and Mello didn't seem to notice the freaky murderer aura that Beyond had. "Are you coming to the fair tomorrow, Beyond?"

"I suppose so, do you want me to stop by your booth?" he said jokingly.

"Fuck, I don't think anyone would."

"Oh, I don't know, I plan on kissing Near, and I don't think I'm alone."

"Huh?" I spoke up, I was at a lost for words. Was he flirting with me?

"I think Near is very beautiful and I would enjoy kissing him. I think anyone would enjoy kissing him." At this point, I was scared. I was afraid he was going to rape me, then mutilate me, and then rape me some more. I picked at my peanut butter sandwich with my index finger. Mello was eating a school lunch, and Beyond had nothing, until he pulled out a jar of strawberry jam from his schoolbag. He opened the jar and stuck a finger in, pulled it out and deep-throated it, sliding it off his tongue slowly. Mello and I gaped; it was like watching an insane version of L.

"He kind of looks like Ryuuzaki," Mello whispered as Beyond began drinking the jam like a cup of tea.

--- --- --- --- --- After School Wednesday --- --- --- --- ---

"Alrighty Near, in two hours we're going to get molested. Let the fun began."

"Mello, you still owe me." Mello was washing his bike in my backyard, humming 'Night of Fifteen' by Ozaki Yutaka. I did know who he was, but I only pretended not to because it seemed like the elegant option.

"Yeah, Near, whaddya want?" I couldn't stop the devilish grin stretching across my features. Mello stopped and eyed me curiously.

"I want you to wear Lolita to the fair with me."

"WHAT THE FUCK NEAR YOU FUCKING PERVY FREAK! LIKE HELL I'M WEARING THAT SHIT!"

"You have to if you want to be friends again." Silence. Mello was looking at his bike, thinking the matter over.

"Fine," he said quietly. "But nothing over the top."

We went inside and surveyed my Lolita collection. Mello chose my Alice and the Pirates Never Voyage Jumperskirt in black and gray. It was my only dark-colored dress. I handed him my black Petite Frills Blouse from Baby, with the sleeves removed. Next in was my black beaded ribbon lace thigh-high socks. I don't know why I had these clothes; I must have bought them when I was depressed. He took off his clothes right in front of me and put each item on, including bloomers and a petticoat. He looked good, a little sexy since he was taller than me, but still good. I looked at my shoe collection, which consisted of white, pink, red, and blue mary janes, rocking horse shoes, boots, and sandals. No black.

"I don't have any shoes for you." Mello walked into the living room and grabbed his black leather boots. They had platform soles and thin laces looping through shiny brass rings. The leather was a good quality, and when he put them on, he looked like a perfect punk Lolita. He walked over to my full-size mirror and checked himself out, turning around, taking in every angle.

"I look like a girl," he said finally.

"Well, you are wearing a dress."

"I look like a kick-ass girl! You know, for Lolita."

A/N: The kissing booth is next chapter! Beyond is one of my favorite characters and he's gonna be stalking little Near! Oh no! Light and L will be at the fair, too. Please review! Beyond is modeled after this pic: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/imageu/1017539/150/ just replace the dots.


	7. Mello's POV II: Akazukin in Distress

disclaimer: don't own anything except the plot, which my glorious Ai-chan helped me with.

And thanks to everyone who added the story to favorites/alerts. It made me happy-wappy :D

Mello's POV II: Akazukin in Distress

I was still wearing the frilly-ass getup Near made me wear as we walked into town. The fairgrounds were one hour away from Near's house if you walked, but we didn't have a ride. And I'll be damned if the entire school thinks we were chicken-shits. Near was walking ahead of me, wearing a flowing red cape that went down to his elbows and a white blouse with sleeves that got wider at the bottom. His skirt was red, too, and it had white lace at the bottom and heart-shaped pockets. And his super-high platforms with wood soles and leather straps winding around his ankles just pissed me off.

"What shoes are you wearing? You're going to mess up your feet," I asked right as we were leaving his driveway. He didn't look at me when he answered.

"I am quite accustomed to wearing such shoes. That is the price of Lolita."

We came to the gates and handed the guy at the entrance our tickets. He gave me a creepy pedo-licous grin and I flipped him the bird.

"Don't. If you are wearing Lolita you must have good etiquette." Yeah, yeah, etiquette my hot ass.

When we arrived at the kissing booth, I had a heart attack. In the blur of strange faces I saw something familiar. A mess of red hair bounced as he walked past us, his goggles secured on his handsome face, and a fag hanging out of that delicate mouth. Jesus, I just wanted to ravage those rosebud lips. Matt was at the fair, and I was wearing a fucking dress at the kissing booth. Shit.

"Near!" I whispered, tugging on his sleeve, "That's Matt! The red head, right there!" I pointed in roughly the same direction of my love.

"Hmm," he looked toward him, "maybe he'll come ask for a kiss from you." I wanted him to so badly, but I knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Kissing booth!" A girl screamed. She and her rapid friends rush over. I got ready for some action. "Look, he's like a little lamb!" One girl said. "Little ivory cutie pie!" said another.

What. The. Fuck.

They all paid the price of two dollars (yeah, we're cheap whores), and each one gave Near a quick peck on the lips. I couldn't help but laugh, he looked so uncomfortable. But my laughter seized as I realized none of the girls wanted me.

Another girl came over, and I realized it was Natsu from our school. "One, please! For the cuddly little Shiro!" Oh my God, she was wearing frilly shit too. She leaned over the counter and pressed her lips to Near's, making a loud smooching sound. "Aw, he's blushing! Oh, I have to go back to cotton candy. Sayonnnnnnara!" The fluffy little pervert skipped away. Near _was_ blushing.

"This is most unpleasant." I guess I was lucky. It's not like I wanted strangers kissing me, just Matt.

Then came the voice that scared the shit out of me.

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by you again?" It was Beyond. Using a pick up line. On Near. I fought the erge to go into a hysterical laughing fit. He started walking toward us.

"I'll kiss your lips that are so soft and sweet,  
then move on to your cheek that's so smooth and unique.  
Then I'll move right along that little ear of yours...  
Whoa... my, my... let me move along your chest...  
Uh, oh I missed a spot, let me move back up to the neck"

"..." Near stared in horror at Beyond, who was wearing a white shirt and jeans just like Ryuuzaki. Creepy.

He pulled a shiny red rose from behind his back and handed it to Near, who took it hesitantly.

"Our love is like this porcelain rose -  
Fragile, yet unable to be broken.  
This rose, like our love,  
Will never die." No THAT was creepy.

"Uh, Beyond?" Near looked so scared.

"Hey my little Akazukin! I've come for a kiss, here's two dollars." Near tried to pull away, but Beyond tugged on his red hood and pulled him close, making the sheep lean over the counter. They locked lips, holding the position for a moment. Beyond suckled gently on Near's lower lip, taking it into his mouth before pulling away. Near kept his eyes closed, not daring to move. Beyond just smiled.

"Yes, that was certainly worth the money." Near snapped out of his daze and adjusted his red riding hood. "You look just like Akazukin with your red hood and skirt. I didn't know you were a Lolita, Aka-chan, it makes me love you even more." Near just looked down at the rose, holding the fragile stem elegantly and examining the color. It was ruby red, the same color as his hood and the same color as his admirer's eyes.

"To me roses are a symbol of love  
A sign of hope sent from above  
As fragile they all may be  
Our souls entwined both in harmony"

"Thank you for the rose, Beyond," he said in a mellifluous voice. He sounded so... nice.

"You can't be real. May I pinch you to see if I'm dreaming?"

"No."

"Oh, alright then. I have to get going; I have places to go, and miles to go before I sleep. Did you hear me Akazukin? Miles to go before you sleep."

"Please stop." Beyond laughed at this, though it sounded forced.

"Heh hahaha hi hi. Alright, I'll let you be, but how about we hang out later? You know, ride some rides."

"Uhhh..."

"Alright then! I'll be back in an hour!"

Near turned to give me a serious look. "What just happened?"

--- --- --- --- --- One Hour Later --- --- --- --- ---

I wanted to die. Our time for the booths was over, and I hadn't been kissed. No Matt, no nobody. Near had been the victim of several girls with too much money on their hands. I felt so fucking worthless. Near got a fucking rose and a bunch of cheesy lines from an insane teenager. I got nothing.

Beyond came over with tickets. "There are only three of us, we'll need four. Do you have anyone?" He turned to me.

"Mello?!" Oh my fuckingholyshitmotherfuckingsonofabitch it was _Matt._

"Oh hey," I said sheepishly. Oh dear Kira, strike me down!

"What's with the dress, Mels?" he eyed me curiously. Before I could answer he said, "Oh, the kissing booth, right? Dressing up to get more love?"

"Uh, yeah," I said breathlessly.

"Matt should join us in our activities." Fucking sheep boy needs to shut the fuc-

"Hey, yeah!" Eh? "How 'bout it Mello?"

"Okay." I said shakily. I thought I was going to faint. Then I remembered that I was Mello motherfucking Keehl, and nothing could get to me.

A/N: Yay Matt is here! All the poems are real and I didn't write them. Oh and for those who don't know: Akazukin is Japanese for red riding hood and BB's fav manga is Akazukin Chacha, so it seemed appropriate. And in this story all the boys are the same age. Except L and Light, who will be in the next chapter!


	8. Near's POV III: Sleepover

A/N: Sorry for the delay! My computer crashed.

disclaimer: don't own anything except the plot, which my glorious Ai-chan helped me with

Near's POV III: Sleepover

Matt, Mello, Beyond and I wandered the fairgrounds looking for a suitable ride. I held the fragile porcelain rose in between two fingers and examined it closely. It was a brilliant shade of red, with no chips or cracks, and the stem was long and thin, with blunt thorns here and there.

Mello was walking next to Matt, trying to act like he didn't care that Matt had caught him wearing Alice and the Pirates. Matt was wearing a striped shirt and a fluffy vest along with orange goggles (He seriously needed fashion advice). Beyond was walking next to me, and after walking for only a moment he snaked his arm around my waist. It felt so strange; I didn't know how to react, so I just continued moving, careful not to move my hips much. We came to a stop at a glittery purple tilt-a-whirl.

"Hey, lets ride this one!" Matt suggested. We all agreed and made our way to the short line. After handing the probably drunk man at the gate our tickets, we walked across the grass until we found an open seat. Matt sat at the end, with me and Mello in the middle and Beyond on the other side of me.

"Scared, Near?" Mello asked mockingly.

"No, I've just never rode one of these before." I answered as a man came over and closed the metal door. I put my hands on the wheel in the center in order to brace myself.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you're safe." Beyond reassured, but I didn't feel any better.

The ride began slowly, moving in a circle, and gradually gaining speed. Matt insisted on turning the wheel as fast as possible, and Mello joined him, laughing. Maybe he was finally having fun. He was wearing a scowl all day just because no one kissed him, but now he looked happy. The ride started moving faster, and some people were screaming. I felt sick. How could anyone enjoy such a sensation? People can be so strange.

When the ride was over, Mello was feeling much better, Matt wanted to go again, Beyond was trying to molest me with his hands, and I was sick.

"You okay, Near?" Matt asked as I struggled to keep my balance.

"He's fine! I just knocked him off his feet!" Beyond answered for me. Again with the "romantic" phrases. "Let's go on the ferris wheel!" The others agreed, and I followed them, not really paying attention to what was going on. I really didn't want to throw up.

When it was our turn for the ride, Beyond and I sat together, leaving Matt and Mello to their own seat. When they sat down, they started laughing for no apparent reason. When they moved away, I heard them talking about their bikes. Beyond sat next to me, holding my free hand. In my other hand was the rose.

"This is nice, Near." He said thoughtfully, looking away.

"Yes..." I said. I needed to know what was wrong with this person. "Why do you keep flirting with me?!" I said this a little too loud, and I heard Mello laughing.

"What?!" Beyond said dramatically. "Well, because I love you, Near!"

He... loves... me?

"Um... I..." What was I supposed to say?

"Don't worry! I know you might not like me now, but I promise you that in no time you'll be head over heels!" Mello laughed again.

"Mello!" I screamed. This was the most awkward moment of my life and he was laughing at me!

"Huh? What the fuck do you want?" I looked down from our higher position and saw Mello standing up.

"Hey, calm down..." Matt tried to console him, only to find it impossible.

"No!" he yelled, batting Matt's hand away, "Near, what the hell?"

"STOP SWEARING! It's an insult to the fashion!" I was yelling. I never yelled.

"Fashion? Fuck I'll say whatever the fuck I want!"

"Stop it, Mello!"

"Fuck you, sheep boy!" By now, Mello was shoving his arse in a blushing Matt's face.

Matt's POV

Man, Mello had a nice ass. Even if it was covered in lace. He was leaning over the seat, screaming at that Near kid.

"Mello! You wanted to be my friend! I don't care what you think about my style, but if you are wearing it so we can be friends you better do as I say!" I didn't think the sheep was capable of talking that loud.

"You little FUCK! Just stop it! I know you want to be friends so just shut the fuck up!" Mello was leaning way too far. "Near! You bast- AGHHH!" He fell over the side and I moved quickly to grab his waist. He was hanging off the seat, his fine ass completely exposed. He looked up at me in horror, and he looked so cute! Those blue eyes all wide, his mouth open. It was nice. I pulled him in and he looked flustered, adjusting his dress and shrinking into his seat after muttering a small "thank you." Adorable.

The ride finally came to an end. Near and Mello seriously needed to cool down, I suggested getting something to eat, and they complied. They walked in silence; Beyond was next to Near, holding his hand. We came to a stall with strawberries on a stick, and I paid for everything.

"Sorry, Mello."

"Sorry, Near."

And it was all better.

Near's POV

After going on the roller coaster, a tall ride with flames on it, a green ride that spun around fast, the hang glider, the swing ride, and something called the "spider," the sun had set. We were walking the grounds, stopping occasionally at a stall and peering inside, only to find nothing of value.

We were at a stall full of belts when I heard a familiar voice.

"But the funnel cakes are so good!"

"You've had enough!"

"But Liiiiiiiiiiiight!" The panda whined childishly. We made eye contact. "Near!" He ran over to me and gave me a hug. "How you doing?" His face was blank as he asked this; I found it strange that he was able to change his expressions so quickly.

"Hello Near, Mello," said Light, who was holding a half-eaten cone of cotton candy. He politely introduced himself to the others. L leaned towards him a bit off a piece off the fluffy sweet. "Ryuuzaki, way to be polite." Light gave him a quick kiss. How cute.

"Did you guys have fun today?" L asked, leaning towards Matt and eying him curiously.

"Yep!" Beyond answered. L just gave him a weird look.

"I... think I know you."

"Yeah! I sometimes follow you around!" Beyond said as though it were completely normal to stalk somebody.

"Ryuuzaki, we have to get home, remember I have work tomorrow. And I want to get to bed early." He gave him a seductive look, and L got the message, his eyes widening in arousal.

"Yeah... Well, nice seeing you guys. Say hi to Wammy for me, alright?" He gave me a final hug and Light slipped his arm around his waist as they walked away. When they thought they were out of sight I saw Light give his lover's ass a firm squeeze.

"HEY!! RAPE that PUSSY!" Oh, no, it was Tyler Freeman, my least favorite human. He and his gang of disgusting losers were walking in a big group, laughing and punching each other playfully. They were waking right towards us.

"Hey, pretty ladies!" We were all going to retort when one off his accomplices threw a chocolate ice cream cone at me. It hit me in the chest, and I looked down in horror at my blouse, which was stained.

"You assholes! Get away from my Akazukin!" Beyond pulled out a knife. "Or I'll slit your throats!" They all scurried away in fear of my admirer. I looked down at my clothes. My blouse. My perfect white blouse was covered in ice cream. It was my nicest, most expensive blouse and I saved up my money for four months before I could buy it. No, this couldn't be happening. I ignored the fact that I was getting woozy; I ignored the people around me. Right now, I was in Versailles, where maidens sleep until noon and wearing gorgeous gowns. But I wasn't. I was at the fair, at night time, with people I don't even like and my favorite article of clothing was ruined. The ground seemed to get closer, and that's all I remember.

--- --- --- --- --- ??? --- --- --- --- ---

I awoke in a place I did not recognize. It was dark and I was lying in a bed with the black comforter draped neatly across my body. I pushed them off of me and found that I was only wearing my white bloomers, socks, and lacy tank top. The only light came from a computer across the room. I surveyed my surroundings. The room was messy, with clothes and such on the floor. There was a wide bookshelf on one wall full of various manga of different colors and heights, each series a unique block in what could almost be a design. It reminded me of LEGOs.

The door opened slowly, and I saw Beyond walk in, carrying a tray with tea on it. He smiled widely at me.

"You fainted, so I brought you over to my house. I hand-washed your clothes, but only time will tell if they are ruined." He placed the tray on the desk and turned on the lamp. "Here's some chamomile tea." I was speechless. Everything thing he was doing was so nice and well thought out. I saw my rose on the nightstand. Beyond really was a nice guy, even if he was creepy.

"What's in your shirt?" I looked at my chest and saw my faux-cleavage from the tissues I shoved down there. My face was turning red.

"Heh, it's alright. Let me help you." He dipped his hand into my shirt and pulled the tissue out. I shivered as his fingers touched my nipples. His fingertips traced my areola, and then pinched the bud lightly. I pulled away, feeling my bloomers tighten. No! I can't be getting aroused! Erections aren't Lolita at all! I closed my knees together and pulled the blanket over my waist. Beyond just laughed.

"Alright then." He handed me the blue teacup and I drank the sweet substance all up. I fell asleep in his bed while he was on the computer.


End file.
